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August 16, 2021What to Say to Someone with Body Dysmorphia
Commonly referred to as body dysmorphia, body dysmorphic disorder (BDD) is a mental disorder in which you can’t stop thinking about one or more perceived defects or flaws in your appearance. Flaws can be minor or things that can’t be seen by others. A person with body dysmorphia may feel so embarrassed and ashamed about these flaws or their appearance that they avoid social interactions. Coping with body dysmorphia is unimaginably difficult. This disorder can make it difficult for a person to build and sustain relationships and may cause them to take extreme measures to “fix” their flaws. If you’re at a loss for words and don’t know how to help, our Banyan mental health center is sharing some ideas on what to say to someone with body dysmorphia to help you be there for a loved one.
What To Say To Someone Who Has Body Dysmorphia
Knowing how to talk to someone with body dysmorphia can help you navigate your loved one’s condition and be sensitive to their symptoms. Especially if your loved one has displayed the signs of body dysmorphia, it’s important to learn how to talk to them in a way that will help them, encourage them to get mental health treatment, and show them that you care. It can be tough to find the right words, but researching this condition and putting effort into learning how to support someone with body dysmorphia is worth it. Below are some examples of what to say to someone with body dysmorphia to show them that you care and want them to get help.
“I’m here to listen whenever you need to talk.”
Although you may think that your loved one already knows this, sometimes a person needs an invitation to speak. Body dysmorphia often produces feelings of embarrassment and shame, which lead to isolation. A person with this condition may be hesitant to speak about their symptoms and how they feel because they don’t want to burden anyone or because they’re afraid to be judged. Regardless of how long you’ve known this person or how close you are, remind them that you’re there to simply listen to them if they ever need to vent or if they need advice.
“You’re not alone.”
While you may not have body dysmorphia yourself, you can make your loved one feel better by reminding them that they don’t have to go through this condition alone. Loving someone with BDD is a 24/7 commitment, but they may not know that. Share with the person that you’re on their team, and you’ll be there for them no matter what.
“I may not know how you feel, but I’m here to help you with anything you need.”
Often, people say hurtful or dismissive things without realizing it. One of the most harmful things you can do is attempt to relate to the person’s condition if you don’t have it yourself. Saying things like “I know exactly how you feel” or trying to compare their symptoms with something you’ve felt before comes across as dismissive and makes it seem like you don’t care. Do not make the conversation about yourself. Instead, be honest with them. Tell them that while you don’t know exactly how they feel, you’re available to help them with whatever they need.
“I’m sorry you’re going through this.”
While this might sound like a simple thing to say, letting people with BDD know you’re sympathetic toward their condition is comforting, and expressing your empathy shows them that you genuinely care for them. Many people who are informed about a loved one’s mental illness ask questions like, “But why do you feel that way? Can’t you just stop? Why don’t you snap out of it?” all of which can be extremely hurtful. Saying that you’re sorry they’re suffering can go a long way because it shows that you believe them, accept what they’re saying, and that you understand them.
“What you're feeling is completely valid, but remember that BDD causes you to see yourself differently.”
It might be tempting to tell someone with body dysmorphia that their symptoms are all in their head, but this can be both dismissive and frustrating. To say that it’s all in their head minimizes the concern and makes them seem as if they’re making things up. Avoid this kind of language, and instead gently remind them that while they may see these flaws, their condition causes these symptoms.
- Educate yourself on BDD
- Steer the conversation without dismissing them
- Do not make the conversation about yourself
- Use “I” statements instead of “you” statements to avoid statements that place blame on someone
- Validate their feelings
- Avoid talking about your physical appearance or insecurities around them (this can be triggering for them)
- Gently remind them that it’s BDD talking when they’re in a negative spiral of symptoms
Steer the conversation without dismissing them
Guide the dialogue without disregarding their feelings. If your friend has shared that they dislike the way their arms look, for instance, it can be challenging to refrain from responding with an immediate "That's not true, your arms are thin." Although you intend to counter their perception, a more effective approach would be to redirect their attention from their external appearance towards their positive non-physical qualities.
Reassure them that you love them for their personality
Because individuals with body dysmorphia place so much emphasis on their looks, they may feel as if looking a certain way is what makes them deserving of love and affection. While you might assume your loved one knows you care about them regardless of how they look, it can be helpful to reassure them of this. Continue to reassure them that you’re there for them and that their appearance will never change how you feel about them.
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What Tips Are Available For Parents Of A Child With BDD?
If you're a parent of a child with Body Dysmorphic Disorder (BDD), the Body Dysmorphic Disorder Foundation offers valuable advice to help you support them effectively. Here are some key tips:
- Educate Yourself: Learn as much as possible about BDD to understand what your child is going through.
- Encourage Open Communication: Create a safe space for your child to express their feelings without judgment.
- Seek Professional Help: Consult a mental health professional who specializes in BDD for proper diagnosis and treatment.
- Promote Healthy Self-Esteem: Reinforce your child's strengths and qualities beyond their appearance.
- Be Patient and Supportive: Recovery can be slow; your understanding and patience are crucial.
By following these steps, you can play a crucial role in your child's journey toward better mental health and well-being.
How To Help Someone With Body Dysmorphia
The best way to help someone with body dysmorphia is to help them find professional treatment. Therapy programs like cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) are helpful for people with mental disorders like BDD. CBT specifically focuses on identifying negative thought patterns and behaviors that contribute to mental illness and replacing them with healthier ones.
Why Should Friends And Family Seek Support For Themselves When Caring For Someone With BDD?
When caring for someone with Body Dysmorphic Disorder (BDD), friends and family often face an emotional and psychological toll. It's crucial for them to seek support to navigate these challenges effectively. Talking to others in similar situations can provide valuable insights and much-needed comfort. Being informed about BDD helps caregivers understand the condition better, reducing feelings of isolation and helplessness.
The Body Dysmorphic Disorder Foundation offers resources specifically designed for friends and family. This includes detailed information about BDD, as well as support groups for caregivers. Engaging with these resources can empower loved ones to provide better care while also taking care of their own mental health. By seeking support, families can build a network of understanding and resilience, which is vital for both the caregiver and the individual with BDD.
How Can Friends And Family Boost The Confidence Of Someone With BDD?
How Can Friends and Family Boost the Confidence of Someone with BDD?
Ensuring the well-being of a loved one struggling with Body Dysmorphic Disorder (BDD) can be challenging. However, genuine support goes a long way in boosting their confidence.
Encourage them to engage in activities they love. Participation in hobbies and interests can provide a sense of accomplishment and distract from intrusive self-critical thoughts. For example, if they enjoy painting, cooking, or playing an instrument, support them in making time for these passions.
Praise their efforts and achievements without focusing on appearance. Compliment their skills, kindness, or perseverance. For instance, remark, “You did a fantastic job on that project,” or, “Your determination is inspiring.” This helps shift their focus from physical looks to personal strengths.
Be a good listener. Allow them to express their feelings without judgment or unsolicited advice. Often, just knowing that someone is there to listen can significantly alleviate their emotional burden.
Provide consistent support and remind them of their worth beyond appearance. Let them know they are valued for their unique qualities and contributions.
By focusing on these strategies, friends and family can play a vital role in enhancing the self-esteem and confidence of someone experiencing BDD.
How Can Friends And Family Accept The Feelings Of Someone With BDD?
How Can Friends and Family Accept the Feelings of Someone with BDD?
Supporting someone with Body Dysmorphic Disorder (BDD) starts with acceptance and empathy. It’s crucial to acknowledge their feelings, even if you can’t fully understand them.
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Validate Their Emotions: Listen actively and let them know you take their feelings seriously. Phrases like, "I can see this really matters to you," can be incredibly comforting.
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Show Empathy: Recognize that their struggles are genuine. Even if you don’t share their concerns about their appearance, empathize with the fact that these worries impact them deeply.
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Avoid Judgment: Steer clear of labeling them as "vain" or "self-obsessed." Their condition is a mental health issue, not a personality flaw.
By creating a supportive and non-judgmental space, friends and family can make a profound difference in the life of someone dealing with BDD.
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What Self-Care Techniques Can Help Someone With BDD?
What Self-Care Techniques Can Help Someone with BDD?
Living with Body Dysmorphic Disorder (BDD) can be incredibly challenging, but incorporating effective self-care techniques can make a significant difference. Below are some strategies people with BDD can use to manage their symptoms and support their mental health.
Accept Your Feelings
Embrace your emotions and understand that it's okay to feel the way you do. Avoid judging yourself harshly or labeling your concerns as vanity. Accepting your feelings is the first step towards healing.
Create a Safe Space for Reflection
Carve out time in your day for quiet reflection or meditation. This can help you confront and process your thoughts without distraction, making it easier to recognize patterns and triggers. Simple mindfulness exercises or deep-breathing techniques can also be beneficial.
Seek Professional Help
Professional treatment can be incredibly empowering. Therapists and medical professionals can provide you with the support and tools you need to manage BDD more effectively. Look into Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) or other specialized treatments that have been shown to reduce symptoms of BDD.
Develop a Self-Help Routine
If you’re working on a self-help program, either independently or under the guidance of a therapist, stick to a routine. Consistency is key. Make a plan that incorporates therapeutic exercises or reading materials and integrate them into your daily schedule.
Engage in Healthy Activities
Participating in activities that you enjoy can distract you from negative thoughts and improve your mood. Physical exercise, artistic endeavors, or even journaling can enhance your overall well-being. The goal is to find activities that make you feel good about yourself and your abilities.
Lean on Support Systems
Don't shy away from asking for help. Whether it’s friends, family, or support groups, having people you trust to talk to can alleviate some of the emotional burden. They can offer perspective, encouragement, and practical help where needed.
Celebrate Small Wins
Overcoming compulsive behaviors is a gradual process, and it’s essential to celebrate your progress, no matter how small. Whether it’s spending less time in front of the mirror or reducing the number of times you check your appearance, acknowledge and celebrate these achievements to stay motivated.
BDD is a demanding disorder, but self-care is a crucial component of managing it successfully. By accepting your feelings, seeking professional help, maintaining a self-help routine, participating in healthy activities, leaning on support systems, and celebrating your achievements, you can take meaningful steps toward feeling better.
By taking these actions, you are prioritizing your mental health and building a foundation for a healthier, happier life.
If you need mental health therapy or know someone who does, we can help. Call Banyan Treatment Centers now at 888-280-4763 or contact us online to speak to a team member about our adult mental health services.
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