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No bond is closer than between a parent and their child. The biological and psychological ties that bind parents and their children are foundational to the latter’s development. But despite the highlights we see on social media, parenthood isn’t easy. Furthermore, children are sensitive receptors of parental distress – which may stem from factors like social isolation, financial hardship, divorce, or mental illness. Therefore, when a parent struggles, the child picks up on these stressors and absorbs them in ways that may later manifest in their lives.
How Parents Affect Their Child’s Mental Health
Mental health and parenting go hand in hand. As a mother or father, what impacts you will impact your children in some way. Sadly, many children today are in the care of a parent who, at some point in their lives, experienced or will experience some degree of mental illness. This could be mild, such as intermittent depression or anxiety, or more severe, such as bipolar disorder or schizophrenia.
What’s more, the number of households with a parent who abuses drugs or alcohol is rising, which is also proven to negatively impact children. According to the American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry, parental mental illness increases a child’s risk of developing a mental health disorder, and when both parents are mentally ill, the risk is even higher.
A child is also more likely to develop a mental illness when a parent has one or more of the following: bipolar disorder, anxiety disorder, attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), schizophrenia, alcoholism, drug use disorder, or depression. In addition to the impact of parental mental health on a child, an unstable and unpredictable family environment can also contribute to psychiatric illness in children.
The mental illness of a parent can strain their marriage or relationship with their parent, affecting the parenting abilities of the couple. In turn, this can severely impact the child’s development.
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Guide to Parenting a Child with A Mental Illness
From acting as a maid, cook, chauffeur, and a pediatrician, raising a child is far from easy. Although parenting is difficult no matter what, having a child with a mental illness can be even more challenging and trying. At Banyan Mental Health, we work with various young adults who struggle with their mental health, but we understand that being a parent of one of these children is even more demanding.
Tips For Raising a Child with a Mental Illness
Unfortunately, there is no official manual on having a child with a mental illness and parenting, but as a mental health center, we know a thing or two about mental health disorders. Follow these tips on parenting a child with a mental illness to make the lives of both you and your child easier.
Be patient. Many people think that someone can simply snap out of depression or overcome their anxiety, but this is not the case. Mental health problems are disorders that can alter the brain and often require formal treatment in order to see improvements.
Do your research. The best way to help a child with a mental health disorder is to make sure you understand it for yourself. There are plenty of resources out there. Ask your child’s doctor questions. Find books on the topic. Do research online. Our mental health blog may also be able to help.
Teach your child about their condition. Especially if they are younger, they may not understand what is going on. They are probably already curious so take the time to explain to them their disorder, their symptoms, and why it is happening. Answer any of their questions as well. The more your child understands their mental illness, the more likely they will be able to recognize if their symptoms get worse and ask for help.
Inform others as necessary. As much as you may want to, you cannot be with your child 24/7 nor should you. If your child is younger, make sure their school or caretakers are aware of their disorder and any red flags to look out for. If they are older, you should trust that your adult child will tell those who need to know.
Don’t ignore their symptoms. Parenting a child with a mental illness can be confusing, but if something seems amiss, do not dismiss it. Pay attention to your child’s mental illness symptoms. If they suddenly seem worse or more severe, it may be a sign that their treatment needs to change, or they are not taking their medicine. Get them help now before matters get worse.
Get them professional help. As a parent, it can be hard to deal with the fact that you cannot fix everything for your child, but you can get them the help they need. Especially for older adults who may turn to drugs or alcohol to cope with their poor mental health, treatment is even more important. A dual diagnosis program like ours may even save your child’s life.
Tips for Parenting with Mental Illness
As a parent, even the smallest and seemingly insignificant things can have a huge impact on your child’s life. When it comes to their mental health, you can never be too careful or specific. Below are some tips for parenting with a mental illness that can help you be there for your children:
- Set aside time every day to play with them or do something they enjoy
- Always tell them you love them
- Show your support, even for the little things
- If you’re married or have a partner, work on your relationship
- Practice self-care (you have to take care of yourself so you can take care of others)
- Keep a steady job
- Stay on top of your finances (if you need help, seek out a financial advisor)
How to Cope with A Mentally Ill Child
Although parenting a child with a mental illness puts a large focus on the well-being of your child, don’t forget about yourself. The only way you can be the best parent for your struggling child is by taking care of yourself.
There are many ways to cope with a mentally ill child including:
- Joining a support group
- Participating in therapy
- Asking for help
- Taking time for yourself on a regular basis
- Getting away on occasion
- Becoming an advocate
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How Can Parents Support Their Child's Mental Health?
Children are most vulnerable both physically and mentally from ages newborn to 5, which is a fragile period for brain development. Adolescence is the next big chapter of a child’s life. Because brain development is rapid and ever-changing during these two critical points, children are most vulnerable to the impact of parental mental illness.
Fortunately, there are ways that parents can support their child’s mental health:
- Explaining to children that the parent’s mental illness is not their fault
- Receiving help and support from family members
- A stable home environment
- Psychotherapy for the child and the parent(s)
- Receiving love and attention from the parent
- Positive self-esteem
- Inner strength and good coping skills in the child
- A strong relationship with a healthy adult
- Friendships and positive peer relationships
- Interest in and success at school
- Healthy interests outside the home for the child
- Help from outside the family to improve the family environment (such as parenting classes or individual therapy)
Individual and family therapy can guide a child toward healthy development, despite the presence of parental mental illness. Our mental health therapists at Banyan work with the parent(s) and children individually and together to inspire positive elements in the home and the natural strengths of the child.
While there are numerous parenting tips out there, the best thing you can do for your child is to love them and be there for them no matter what. Everything we do as parents is reflected in our children, so looking out for yourself is equivalent to looking out for your kids. If you need help coping with a mental illness and want to improve your life, look no further. Banyan Mental Health offers mental illness treatment for conditions like depression, anxiety, schizophrenia, and others.
Call Banyan Treatment Centers today at (877) 360-1639 to learn more about our services and how we can help you and your family.
Sources:
- Clinical-Depression.co.uk - Depression and dreaming
- Healthline - How Much Deep, Light, and REM Sleep Do You Need?
- Netflix - The Mind Explained
- AACAP - Children of Parents With Mental Illness
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